You may have heard of shower beers. If not, I’ll explain: they’re beers you drink in the shower. The shower beer is an ingenious innovation because it allows you to accomplish two pretty wonderful and important tasks—cleaning yourself and drinking—in one fell swoop.
Now, prepare yourself emotionally for the shower pizza, which I choose to think of as a ground-breaking, not-depressing step forward for myself and probably humanity.
This morning I woke up hungry-over (hungover + hungry). I waddled downstairs, popped some Advil, and noticed that there was a gorgeous pizza on the table. One thing led to another and half of the pizza was gone. I wanted more, but I also desperately needed to shower; dirt was literally caked all over my legs, for reasons I’m not prepared to explain.
And then it occurred to me: Maria, just shower with the pizza! I instantly knew exactly where to position myself in the shower so as to have the water hit my body without soaking the pizza.
Fortunately, it only takes me about 3 seconds (when I’m exercising restraint) to eat a slice of pizza, so in no time my hands were free to diligently wash my body and the sauce off my face/neck/shoulders.
You may say, Eating pizza in the shower? That’s crazy!
But to that I say, It’s just crazy enough to work.
Warning though: make sure to check whose pizza it is before you eat it, you don’t want to cause any problems.